Je t'aime.

You are everything I want cause you are everything I'm not.

Baby, we are going to make the world jealous someday, just hang in there. We’ve got this.

I’m pretty sure I just figured out exactly what I want.

I want my boyfriend back. None of this implied bullshit. I need you in my life. I want to finish up school, I want a job; nothing that even pays really well, just a simple job so I can buy that cute dress on impulse without having to decide whether I’m going to buy something to wear or buy groceries. I want a car that gets me from one place to another without fail, I dont care how bad it looks. I just want a simple car.

I dont ask for much.

I’m not sure why everything has to be so complicated. :(

I can’t feel my fingertips anymore, although raw and bloody; I hold on. Hold on, hold on. I tell myself that this will all smooth over baby, just ride it out. My shirt lay plastered to my chest imbrued with the sweat and tears I’ve shed tonight. I convince myself that I am not letting go. Fingernails worn down to the cuticle, my vision all a blur. I can’t let go, I wont let go. 1, 2, 3… we keep counting. Sweaty palms, I’m losing my grip. I can’t feel my fingertips anymore and my vision is all a blur.

In the span of a week I have manged to:

-Get tattooed

-See my favorite band again on what could possibly be thier last tour

-spend a few days in San Diego with my best friend.

-Throw a lingerie party that got dirty very quickly.

-then partied again the following night.

-made cupcakes with my favorite people and have asexy sleepover.

-manage to make it to work in the midst of this chaos.

It’s been amazing.

Here I am, pouring my heart onto these rooftops.

When I first said I loved you, I meant it. I see great things for you and I want you to be happy. A few months ago when I said “I’ve never fallen out of love so fast, and here I’ve manged to do it overnight…” Well, I lied. I never stopped caring for you and I’ve regretted saying something so horrible like that to you everytime it comes to mind. I’m drawn to you, you fascinate me. You are a bit of a mystery and I’m not sure that I’ll ever figure you out, but I do know that  I have never felt so comfortable around someone. I feel like nothing can hurt me when you’re around. I know that when I have a bad day I can  count on you to cheer me up and be there for me to give advice and help me rationalize my over emotional girly side. Your intellect and wit are by far your most attractive qualities, I love listening to you and your roomate’s discussions on various things. I love everything about you, and it drives me nuts. I have been thinking about it alot lately, and I’ve made up my mind. I know what I want and I want to be your girlfriend; again. I never ask for anything, but I really want this. I dont expect anything to change between us, if anything it will just continue to get better if we play our cards right… I just want to make it official that I am yours, and you are mine. That’s all.

…I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even read my blog, but I’m not good at keeping these things to myself.

A girl can dream right?

What I hate about women, and being a woman.

Had a conversation the other day with Michelle and Naomi, and I felt like sharing it. We made some valid points.

Women have no boundaries. Virtually, none. We can talk shit to men and bring them to the brink because we know they can’t hit us. [Those that do, are just assholes.]I have heard girls say such  HORRIBLE things to their boyfriends and ex-boyfriends. I couldn’t believe it.

Women like to sabotage other happy woman’s relationships. A couple can be out on a date enjoying themselves and rudely be interrupted by another girl slipping him a number on a lipstick stained napkin. It’s ridiculous. You don’t see men moving in on each others dates like that, if so they are just asking for trouble.

Women like to worm their way back into their ex-boyfriends lives, just to shake things up and get all nostalgic from time to time. It’s a pity tactic and a low blow to try and win someone over again, yet another one of the manipulative powers women posess and abuse.

Women work in teams. They can’t stand on their own when an argument arises. No, you need the support of your girls and shitty advice over carefully crafted dinner plans. Plans of which you made months ahead of time in case such event should happen, this is “the spot”… ladies night.

All women lie. “I’m fine” = “Fuck you, I’m holding this over your head for months.”

Not to mention it is very expensive to be a girl, between the hair and make-up, waxing, skin care, tanning, vitamins etc etc.. it gets very costly. We can cut all of those out of our daily routines, but men have become so accustomed to seeing these dolled up girls that it would just be unattractive to do so.